Do You Come Here Often?

Previewed 6 January 1998, Opened 8 January 1998, Closed 21 February 1998 at the Vaudeville Theatre

A comedy about two men stuck in a bathroom. Two total strangers, David Seymour and Kevin Kevin, find themselves mysteriously stuck in a bathroom for 25 years. To make matters worse, they can't stand each other. But as they are resigning themselves to ending their days in a pastel-shaded prison, it occurs to them that there might just be a way out...

EXTENDED: This production has been extended by one week and will now close on 21 February 1998.

The cast features Hamish McColl as David Seymour and Sean Foley as Kevin Kevin (AKA The Right Size). Directed by Joseph Houben. Presented as part of the Live at the Vaudeville season.

"The tramps of Waiting for Godot seem almost freer than the mismatched principals of Do You Come Here Often? Hamish McColl's David Seymour is a smug twit whose last memory of everyday reality is making a foolish speech as best man at a wedding. Sean Foley's bluff, blokeish Kevin Kevin recalls exchanging meaningless pleasantries with an old woman as he bought milk at a corner shop. And now, quite suddenly, they find themselves stuck together in the naffer sort of bathroom and are, it seems, unable to escape... You never for a moment feel that the issues at stake are as momentous as those in Godot or, for that matter, in Tom Stoppard's intellectually similar Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead . What Foley and McColl offer is a series of gentle, whimsical variations on a theme of waiting. They play games that vary from grandmother's footsteps to trying to spot half-hidden spots on the floor. They bicker and bore each other with stories about pipe-smoking Eskimos and women with sultanas stuck in their ears. They also fool about, using what they claim to be the bathroom door rather in the way Laurel and Hardy used ladders or planks. And meanwhile their beards get longer and longer. Could the bathmat be converted into a glider? Will their one remaining egg hatch into a giant chicken and carry them away? It seems not. But the lavatory cistern does explode, and bubbles do drift in from the wings. It is an inscrutably quaint ending to a quaintly inscrutable piece." The Times

"Why Sean Foley and Hamish McColl, jointly known as The Right Size, are not big, nationally-known stars baffles me. Perhaps their brand of lunatic humour - a mixture of Morecambe and Wise and the Marx Brothers - is too bizarre for audiences fed the pap that largely passes for comedy on TV. The duo's Do You Come Here Often? is a fantastical playlet concerning two strangers who mysteriously find themselves locked together for years in a bathroom. Mad? Certainly, but wonderfully inventive and so funny you may need assistance to regain your feet. Hurry to the Vaudeville Theatre in London for some New Year serendipity." The News of the World

"The Right Size is a two-strong company, Sean Foley and Hamish McColl, that has been delighting fringe audiences for many years. Their latest show, Do You Come Here Often?, is a wonderful combination of surreal humour, visual gags and slapstick, in which Foley and McColl bring back memories of Morecambe and Wise in their heyday, with their benign, barmy and beautifully timed comedy... The two men find themselves locked in a bathroom, unsure how they got there, why they got there, or how to get out. Twenty five years later they are still there. From this basic situation they draw out a sustained comic fantasy. They flash back to the point where they were beamed up in the bathroom, they address the audience, they do dance routines, tell jokes and stories and make old gags new. They create worlds that they then undo at will, like children inventing elaborate realities then dropping them suddenly. They are extremely daft and very lovable, but the nonsense is driven by some substantial points. The two men spend 90 minutes making fools of themselves, we learn, because they were afraid, in real life, of doing just that; meanwhile, the piece itself plays with notions of how we tell stories." The Financial Times

"Two strangers find themselves suddenly and inexplicably transported to a bathroom where they are kept imprisoned for many years. The decades are measured out by the length of their false beards, and the time is passed, initially at least, in devising escape...

"In the hands of this sublimely talented double act even hackneyed old slapstick jokes are rendered fresh and funny. Sharp, knowing and insanely dotty, it is the ultimate postmodernist comedy which assumes its audience's shared familiarity with cultural references from Waiting For Godot to Morecambe and Wise. It stretches back and forward in time in a blend of vaudeville and philosophy... Part of the reason that this evening is such a sheer delight is that it so cleverly creates a conspiracy and a sense of complicity between performers and audience. The other reason the lunacy is so engaging, rather than merely irritating, is that McColl and Foley have created fully realised, contrasting characters and not just comic stooges." The Guardian

You Come Here Often? by The Right Size in London at the Vaudeville Theatre previewed from 6 January 1998, opened on 8 January 1998 and closed on 21 February 1998